Jolene

My delusions of you ended the day you disregarded my feelings,
My delusions of you ended the day you laughed at my pain,
My delusions of you ended the day i saw you move on right after our break up, my cries didn't faze you,
My delusions of you ended the day I saw you talk smack about me, after all the support I gave you,
My delusions of you ended when I saw being an understanding girlfriend got me nowhere,
My delusions of you ended when I noticed you only desired me when nobody else wanted you,
My delusions of you ended, and my villain era began.

You cancelled our date, twice and I wasn’t impressed. Told you this time round things would be different. That you won’t play in my face again. That I won’t be rewarding any bad behaviour anymore. That if you wanted to see me, then you’d have to make a conscious effort, that I wasn’t going to share any more pictures with you. That you’ll have to earn me this time round.

You say it’s being rude and inconsiderate. I tell you to stop describing yourself. I tell you rude and inconsiderate is a person who behaves indifferent to your pain. A person who takes you for granted, a person who picks up another woman right after he broke your heart. A person who juggles several women with total disregard to the one who loves him. A person, who not even once fought or even tried to be with me. What a wicked way to treat the woman that loves you

You tell me I’m too stuck in the past, that I should live in the present. I tell you the past does in fact influence the present. Especially so if there’s almost no change in behaviour. You tell me this time round you’re willing to put in the effort. To show me that you’re invested. I tell you that I’m not one of your clients, trying to sell me some of the company’s packages. I tell you that your actions will prove your words, talk is cheap. And due to this, I don’t want none of those pet names ‘boo, bae, babe’ don’t mean shit if the treatment that comes with it is crass. I tell you till you prove yourself, I’ve saved you with all three of your government names. You broke my heart, you fix it.

Things seem to be going well for the first six months. You keep in touch, take me on dates, buy me gifts and you’re my biggest support system. I tell my friends about you. They still don’t like you. They’d told me to ignore you, I didn’t listen. Because none of them know you like I do. So of course I’m skeptical of you at first. Every phonecall you take, every message you reply to, everyday you go to work… is he cheating on me? You assure me, something you’ve never done before, that there’s no one else. I believe you, but give you the side eye. You’re very good with your words, and this I’m weary off. Will your pitch work this time?

You keep me updated on your every move, take me with you to meet your family, introduce me to the football team you coach during the weekends. We go on holiday together and you promise to visit my family. Take dowry. Marry me. I’m like finally. We finally work out. After countless trials, we’ve finally got it right. I tell my friends and family to prepare for a wedding. I’m beaming ear to ear. Until…

One Wednesday morning you’ve gone to work. I tell you that I’ll travel later on the day, to meet my sister. I’ll leave the housekeys with the caretaker. But plans change and I don’t inform you. I don’t see a need to since its not so important. I’ll travel the next day. I hear a knock on the door, at around midday. A heavily pregnant, beautiful girl stands infront of me,

“Pardon me, but I’m looking for M. Is he in? I’m his girlfriend, Jolene. And you must be the help right?”

Damn!

We’re seated in the living room. Me on a barstool, her on the loveseat. Flashbacks of our love making on that same seat hit me. The irony! I WhatsApp you, telling you that a Jolene is here, blueticks, I laugh. Jolene tells me that y’all have been dating for over a year and a half. That she’s six months pregnant. Pause, ain’t this around the same time you reached out to me wanting to work things out. She says you told her to come over, like she always does every Wednesdays. Pause love, thought you told me you travel for work every Wednesdays. She says she’s here for money, for the clinic.

I send you a beautiful gif of Jolene rubbing her belly, a mysterious smile on her face. Blueticks. I go to the kitchen to prepare us lunch, not good leaving a pregnant woman hungry. She shows me pics of both y’all on clinic appointments. I can’t help but feel jealous. This was supposed to be me, to be us.

4pm, a knock on the door, work ended early right? You enter, Head hung down as if in shame. Jolene rushes to you and gives you a hug. Taking the briefcase from your hand. I look at y’all amused, arms folded on my chest. Ain’t you going to say sth love?

"Jolene, I'm sorry but I don't love you. You were supposed to be a fling but a mistake happened,"
"M you're being mean. Just last week you were cumming inside me. Saying you'll move us to a bigger house. What about the baby?"
"I'll take care of him like i promised. But you'll have to leave. I need to sort issues with my girl.."
I scoff at this, Lunatic!
"M! You'll abandon us just like that?" 

Jolene starts causing a scene. Screaming and crying at the top of her voice. M tries to shush her, she screams louder. I reach for my already packed bag that’s at the corner of the room. Then a funny thing happens, Jolene’s screams turns into hysterical fits of laughter. M and I both look at her in amazement,

“How did I do? I think… I think that’s a grammy worthy performance. He bought it. Look at his face.” Jolene says amidst laughter, as she wipes a tears from her eyes.

M turns to me, with a look of bewilderment and confusion wriien on his face. What is this bitch on about? I walk towards Jolene and hold her hand. You see what M, I know a fool and his ways never change. I’ve always known you to juggle options, why would this time be different. So I crammed your phone’s password and went through it when you were asleep. Yeah it hurt but not as much as i thought it would. Why would I expect different of you. Confronting you would have been too easy so I reached out to Jolene and turns out she’s quite a sport. Welcome to the circus babe, how does it feel to no longer be the ring master. How does it feel being part of the side shows. Oh and BTW, Jolene has something to tell you,

“Sorry hun, baby’s not yours. Its actually your bestfriend’s. We’re getting married next summer.”

M’s mouth drops open, a fly might have thought it was home. Jolene and I walked out hand in hand to the taxi waiting for us outside. That’s how you deal with a player. To new unexpected allies.